New Year, New You…Only if You Reset Your Relationship with Money

It’s 2021. People are embracing New Year’s Resolutions for better health, better careers, and better finances in an attempt to improve themselves and their lives. Unfortunately, the majority of resolutions are left in the dust as the hustle and bustle of everyday life takes over.

So why do most resolutions fail?

We are the only barriers to our own success. The way we think and interact with money can make or break our goals.

If money was standing right in front of you as a person, what would you want to say to it?

Your answer will be a key indicator of what your relationship to money looks like. Here are the most common answers I hear:

“How do I get more?”

“Where did you go?”

“I can’t think about you, it stresses me out.”

“I like you, but I’m not sure what to do with you.”

“Every time I have you something goes wrong!”

If any of these statements resonate with you, it’s time for you to take a deep look at your relationship with money.

Here are 3 reasons why it’s crucial to begin transforming your relationship with money today:

  1. The Way We Handle Money Creates Friction in our Personal and Professional Relationships

Talking about money with your honey (or anyone really) can be intimidating and stressful.

Tensions are naturally high whenever we want to have a serious conversation with our partner, but talking about money, can seem even more stressful. No one wants to, or thinks it’s appropriate to discuss money. Money is often core to our survival, so we naturally approach money matters from an instinctive and primal place; activating our fight-or-flight response.

To top it off, both partners might already have different belief systems around money and more often than not, they are stored deep in our subconscious. We don’t realize when or why we act a certain way or hold a certain belief about money. So we hold our breaths and hope the conversation we want to have will go smoothly.

Teresa, a client, constantly butted heads with her husband when discussing finances. He was extremely secretive and controlling with their money.

Working with a Money Coach revealed that he actually had the tendency to hide all of their money, literally under the mattress, in cash. He did this because he grew up in a household where his mother did the same, out of fear of some impending financial danger.

Once we worked through his limiting mindset and tendencies around money, conversations with Teresa became smoother and less stressful. Similarly, he was able to enjoy his money and feel a sense of security with it. Now they have weekly money dates where they sit down and review their plan for spending and savings each week.

2. You’ll Reach Your Life, and Financial Goals Faster

Unresolved Money Tendencies Will Steer You Away From Long-Term Goals.

We all have a vision for ourselves in the future. We set goals and slowly chip away at to-do lists, but it’s common for many to fall off-track without an understanding of why they couldn’t stick to those goals.

It’s no big secret, and the answer isn’t elsewhere -our belief systems and thoughts are the main drivers of our success and the key culprits in why we falter.

We can believe that we are not good enough to have the success we desire, so we self-sabotage over, and over again.

We can believe we are helpless and need to be rescued by someone, which only ruins our potential to be driven, and independent.

We can believe that money is the ultimate source of our fear and anxiety, so we decide to avoid our finances, or spend it all, so we don’t have to deal with it.

We can become unattached from money and disgusted at the thought of wealthy people, so we subconsciously do everything in our ability to make sure we never have it.

We can believe that money is the source of betrayal and lies, so we become victims who can’t escape our story.

We can believe that money is a form of love, so we overspend on others to show that we love them.

These are just a few examples of how our money beliefs limit our ability to achieve long-term goals, and our subconscious and self-limiting beliefs sabotage our progress.

But research shows that people who commit to someone to help reach their goals increase their chances of success by 65%. These odds increase to a 95% success rate if that person has a specific accountability appointment with the person they’ve committed themselves to¹.

So, the simplest way to achieve goals is to work with someone, who’ll keep you accountable and on track.

3. Your Relationship with Money Impacts Other Areas of Your Life

Jane felt financially safe her entire life, her parents always fulfilled her every need and want.

As Jane got older and started working, she had a relaxed attitude to money. Accustomed to getting whatever she wanted, Jane found it easy to spend money all the time.

Despite working very hard, she constantly found herself with nothing in her bank account at the end of each month and having to ask her parents for small loans. She also racked up substantial credit card debt, creating a cycle she couldn’t get out of.

This left Jane feeling out of control and stressed about money, and these emotions only compounded and even began impacting her attitude towards work. She felt unfulfilled, under-appreciated, and resented her job and how little she made. She started taking days off and even found it hard to concentrate at work.

For Jane, her parent’s love was unconditional, and often took the form of gifts, and enabled her lifestyle, which she was ill-prepared for as an adult.

Financial stress can show up in many ways whether it’s in our personal relationships, our health, or at the workplace. Jane is an example of how unresolved money beliefs and habits can create chronic stress that impacts our ability to show up in our personal and professional lives.

Research shows that our relationship with money impacts our ability to work productively as we are constantly trying to manage our spinning, often challenging, emotions relative to our financial matters. Those who have financial stress struggle to pay monthly bills, use their credit cards to pay for monthly essentials and consistently carry a credit card balance.

Financial matters can even be felt with those who have a lot of money. Sure, they can pay their bills and buy the things they want, but there is often short-term excitement associated with an increase in money. In the long term, we see an increase in distrust and depression².

Money and the stress associated with it don’t have to get in the way of your goals and happiness. You can control your money, reduce stress, and make an action plan to achieve your goals.

It’s time to step out of debt and into wealth. It’s time to stick to your goals and live the abundant life you deserve. Working with a Money Coach will give you your personal financial co-pilot, a confidant, to help you determine your goals, personally and financially, create a plan that will actually work for you, and ensure that you actually complete it.

[1]: Stephen Newland.(2018). The Power of Accountability. https://www.afcpe.org/news-and-publications/the-standard/2018-3/the-power-of-accountability/

[2]: Klontz et al. (2011). Money Beliefs and Financial Behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Script Inventory.https://newprairiepress.org/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1009&context=jft

Claire is a Certified Money Coach (CMC)®, Owner of My Big Rich Life, and a coach with Ready.Steady.Money. Hobbies include farming, exercise, and food!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store